IT COULD BE HARDER

But so far it's fine, breastfeeding is fine, the baby sleeps fine, sometimes he gets a sore tummy but i have already learnt a few tricks and made up a soothing song to go along with the achieved technique. =) He's so far been a good boy, getting hungrier every day, a bit of a lazy feeder start that now has changed. Before knowing what was right and wrong he was sucking up to 2 hours per time without really getting much more than there was, a bit cause the left boob was blocked a bit cause he just enjoyed sucking i suppose. Now he latches on no more than 15-20 minutes per side and gets burped every time as soon as i notice he stops sucking and has a sleepy mouth. We had a bit of an anxious time with the hospital check as they said he was not gaining enough weigh and that some formula might have been needed in addition, we were told to weigh him before and after each feed and if he did not get 100 g of milk minimum we should have gave him formula as a top up, after trying with a breast pump to see if there was more of mine to give him. Luckyly it was needed only twice but later on the pediatrician said to forget the hospital rules as they are old and just interfere with natural breastfeeding, as long as the baby eats, sleeps, gains weight and is not showing signs of illness, all is fine. He should anyway feed a minimum of 6 times a day meaning every 3.30 hrs or so during the day with a longer pause at night. He should be fed no later than every 4 hrs during the day so wake him up if he sleeps altough it's heartbreaking!!

FIRST SMILE?

Last night he latched off while feeding and he looked at me, then it seemed like he said "thank you mummy" and smiled at me! I can swear i saw a dimple but we'll have to see...

HERE WITH US FINALLY!

HERE HE IS!!!

Finally he was born. It was 0.45, 6th of July 2008, his weight was 3.710kg and he smelled like he had a perfume, I was later on told that it was the scent of the vernix that smells nice.
Labour started by itself in hospital saturday 5th night. That morning they had decided after the last heart beat monitoring and because I was 41 weeks, to keep me in and stimulate my labour the next morning. But I asked for something to go for a poo as that day i never had one and the syrup they gave me must have help stimulate me. So contractions started softly but close together and i was doubting the whole time it was bowel pains until i went for the routine evening heart beat monitoring (they do one every few hours if they keep you in hospital). There i saw for the first time how contractions are shown on that machine and i was in awe as they were so close (every 5 or less minutes) and they did not feel at all that painful, they then intensified more and more...
I saw him for very little immediately after he was taken out my womb as i had to have an urgent cesarean after 6cm dilation with natural labour as his heartbeat was slowing down in waves and they feared complications. I cried my eyes off. I was scared and upset. I had managed so well up to that point, altough the contractions were as painful as you sometimes see in films... let me explain this better: from the start until i was 3cm i managed to bear them very well, singing loud and/or breathing and i tought "if all goes like this i have no problems". Then all of a sudden they started being so closer together and so strong that in a few minutes i was up to 6cm screaming my lungs off as i found myself unable not to scream, and i could hardly breathe, but his heartbeat was going up and down all this time...150-90 then up then down... after he was out i was told the waters were a bit green and he was starwatching but no chocking luckily had been occurring, he was just in a position that would have been difficult for him to come out and he was possibly squeezing his cord against a bone of my pelvis or so...
The overall experience with the hospital was bad, saved for some doctors and some nurses.
They did all the possible things I did not want, starting from the pre-labour shaving, the pre-possible-cesarean intravenous needle "in case you may need it it will be there already", not only that but they tried to put in 2 different places like last time even tough i told them i did not want them to and they had previously done the same error, they did not listen to me until the third time when they put it in the elbow inside like it's normal. And they added a second one on my hand later one before the cesarean. I felt like treated like a piece of meat. I am still upset now. In this hospital I went to, after 4 days they expect you to be out of the hospital fully recovered or so, I took an extra day only because I insisted. I was and still am in a lot of pain from the cut even tough the stitches have been taken off yesterday morning. I take paracetamol twice a day and feel like crying and cry everytime I think of all the psicological violence imposed on me. They forced me up the second day and i felt like everything was ripping and on fire, they pressed on my belly so many times i lost count "in order to help the cleaning process" and to check on my uterus size, they refused painkillers as often as they could after the operation and if they gave anything it was totally useless. A small bottle via drip twice that did absolutely no difference. Then when the needle was off i asked and asked for paracetamol until i finally got it. They gave me a medicine to take 3 times a day (that one is not supposed to take when breastfeeding cause it could cause milk production to reduce) to make my uterus contract more to clean it better... Now that I'm at home I am no longer taking it as I think it's useless. When the baby latches on he does the same thing naturally. And i have to take 10 days worth of injections for avoiding air bubbles in my blood because of the operation. I also had 3 blood tests so between my 2 arms i have a total of 7 holes and 2 minor bruises. Plus 2 holes per leg so far beacuse of those injections that will total as 7 per leg when i am done. 21 holes in my body plus a scar. Pain and painkillers, a horrible nightmare that i'll always remember. I can't sob, bend, laugh, sneeze as any sees me folded in 2 with pain. I can only cry as softly as i can. Some of the nurses were harsh or stupid, some were nice. The doctor that injected me with the spinal block was very nice and spoke to me during the operation, he gave me oxigen and told me things that would happen there and there... Overall i would not go there again if i could. Overall i would have had my baby the month before if i could have helped it.
But what counts now is that my baby is healthy and beautiful and that he's doing fine, the milk came and is satisfing him so i'm happy... even if I would have been happier with a better labour obviously. I found out I'm totally not up for any pain. Call me a whimp maybe that is what I am. But I would never want to go through such pain ever again.

UPDATE 4th January 2010, please bear in mind this was written when my memory was not at its best, an update of what is missing here can be soon find at the top of my posts.

FILMS CRITIC

I recently saw a lot of films as being on maternity leave gives you a lot of extra time... especially a couple of them needed to be "reviewed" as i think they are not suitable for everybody.

1. Alien versus predator 2 (AVP2): apart from the fact it clearly fits into those that are considered a crap sequel it has scenes with pregnant women that are unnecessary, totally out of place, disgusting and of bad taste. And I'm not saying this just cause i happen to be pregnant. It's really unrespectful and just not right for anybody to be putting such scenes in any films. It's free psicological violence. I'm sure i'm missing other films that have had similar bad taste and I would surely think the same about them if I happened to watch them.

2. Disturbia: a good film overall, altough the beginning is unnecessary to what follows, infact it's a crap excuse for what follows, they could have had anything else happening to justify the rest of the film and they would have not made me cry (it's a sad beginning that has nothing to do with the spirit of the rest of the film). Since it's a bit of a thriller and has a bit of gruesome things in it, i advice watching it if you have no problems with general thrillers and general murder films (or if you watch CSI no problem).

LAZY BOY

And we're still waiting for our baby to pop, my belly, as huge as it could be, feels very heavy and about to burst. Stretchmarks exploded and started itching too, making my belly look like it's got a web tattoed on it... few, sparce contractions... and i hoped he would come sooner, or at least within the 3rd as it's a new moon... the day is still long, in fact it just started so you can never say... but if all keeps going i'll have to get induced the 7th. Not a bad day either but still, i would have preferred an all natural...oh what a lazy baby. LOL